Friday, May 4, 2007

Yarr, Avoid Them Thar Secretions

I paired up with Mr. Bennet for this race. Man seems like he’d be good on a mission. Actually, he just seems to have an eerie devotion to doing what needs to be done. But I can deal with that, as long as he doesn’t start calling me Claire.

The ride on the drop ship was a noisy. So much so that when we got to the Verizon Amphitheater, I still couldn’t hear much. But I was on a mission, to get off this island as fast as possible with some piece of Jon nostalgia. Despite what might have been seen on last season, this place wasn’t really cleaned up, there was still hair everywhere, and it was causing an odd allergy issue.

I kicked in the door (hey, after so many years in the military, you’d stop checking to see if it were unlocked too),then we headed in. Bennet grabbed a keychain and dropped a ream of paper in its place. I have no idea where he pulled it out of, and far be it for me to ask. But my allergy issue was kicking in, “I think we need more stuff, let's get Jon's Intergalactic Speedos too." Bennet gave me an odd look, but we grabbed the bright blue Speedos (Jon, I don’t think you’ve ever fit into a size medium, wishful thinking), and Bennet dropped off another ream of paper. But, my itchy case of grabitis wasn’t sated. Needless to say, we grabbed everything but the kitchen sink and Bennet had a ream of paper for each item. Stupid allergic reaction, why can’t a girl just get hives?

Out the door we went in search of the sea monster. In my defense, ‘borrowing’ the yacht wasn’t my idea. Bennet liked it and I was in no position to point out the error of taking without asking. Once into the ocean, we decided to dangle the keychain off the boat. I was going to use a piece of crystal from the yacht, but all they had was plastic. I explained to Mr. Bennet the ins and outs of sea monster wrastlin’. Which they teach on Naboo. Third year of school. Seriously, scouts honor. After telling him to grab hard and avoid secretions, which is just good advice in the Fire Island region, he leaned over the edge to try to lure the mighty beast.

Then all heck broke loose. The seas start spinning, deck gots wet, the man from Texas with no sea legs slips and falls into my hand which I’m trying to use to nab a scale. Dodging the fluids of the monster, I managed to get one. But the key chain broke. At which point we find out just what made that snazzy keychain sparkle. Sea monster scale. I really need to learn to read the signage. But, since we had some extra whatnot, we were fine. Once the seas had calmed, Mr. Bennet had put ice on his nose, I dug out Jon’s Scooty Puff Jr. hoverbike. I popped into the sailboats cabin, typed our destination into the ship board GPS (gladiator positioning system) and the ship took off. I climbed back on deck and sat on the little yellow hoverbike. “Mr. Bennet, you need to sit behind me. The rules stated we could use drop ships and hoverbikes to get around. Since this bike is so slow, by the time we get from stern to bow, the boat will be back in the harbor.” I think that interpretation could be argued into the rules.


Gyrobo said...

Futurama references and reams of paper? Is this heaven?!

Henchman432 said...

Mess,Lets see what Simon says.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Yeah, good thing for them Gladiator Positioning Systems. Some of ain't such good pilots, you know.

Professor Xavier said...

Clinton would be proud of your interpretation of the hoverbike use rule.

And I'm surprised Jon went with blue Speedos. I thought good guys wore black.

Nathan Petrelli said...

Mice leave behind little pieces of poop. Bennet leaves behind reams of paper.

Erifia Apoc said...

No MTG Card for you, mam... I still want your boyfriend.

Everyone, as Gyrobo points out, loved Futurama refernces, myself included. Good choice!


Mr. Bennet said...

You never know when a ream of paper could come in handy.