Dearest Last-Gladiator Standing 2 Contestants,
My name is Summer Dawn O’Ciardha, of “The O'Ciardha Clan” and I have been asked, and have asked to be your judge for the competition. This is a great honor.
First, I need to tell you a little about myself. I am sixteen years old, I go to a small-town school, and I have a boyfriend named Christopher. I am also a necromancer. For those of you who do not know what a Necromancer is, this means I can make lifeless corpses into my minions.
Sometimes, I think it is a shame that I am not evil, I could do some truly terrible things. I don’t really have a job, but I do the upkeep of the town in which I go to school in. This upkeep means I take care of the supernatural threats in the town.
I’ve killed werewolves banished spirits, fought vampires, and exorcized demons. All for the good of humanity… Even though I think humans are selfish, self-seeking, self-righteous idiots.
Sorry… That comes with the attitude, I’m a straight-A-student, and a goth, but, you have to think, would anything else be acceptable for a Necromancer? I want to go to college, now, I think public school is a waste, and when I get there I want to get a Doctorate in Mythology, Cryptozoology, and Parapsychology. A Masters in English, History, and Education wouldn’t hurt, would it?
As your judge, I will be strict and merciless. I will read for error and for every single detail. I have read plenty, and I will know if it is not original. Likewise, if you can make me laugh, you have an amazing chance at winning, because I do not laugh.
Flattery and Bribery will fall on deaf ears, and dead hands. I accept nothing of it.
I wish you the best of luck with the challenge, Ladies and Gentleman. Because I will be a harsh-mistress.
Summer Dawn O’Ciardha
Ps. The Ghost of Congressman Nathan Petrelli, I can fix your problem.