Thursday, May 3, 2007

Showdown at the Deadly Waterslide o’ Fun

There was more than one slide at the Deadly Water slide o’ Fun. A few cute little ones for kids and some medium ones. But the main attraction was THE Deadly Water slide o’ Fun. If I was human I'd be have to strain my neck to see the top.
"What an enormous erection! Makes Koma's look quite inadequate, doesn't it." sqwakwed a voice from above. Vandal cackled as he landed on my shoulder. I tried not to laugh but Vandal persisted.
"C'mon you know thats funny." he knew I was resisting. "Where's that cheeky smile." That did it. I couldn't hold it anymore, it was funny. I laughed.
"There's my girl." said Vandal with gusto.
"Whats the "o'" for Vandal?" I asked after I had finished laughing about Koma's manhood.
"Its short for - O my God I can't remember how to spell 'of' because I'm an inbreed Carny." shouted Vandal in reply.
There was also a banner underneath the big sign for Deadly Water slide o' Fun. It read.... "Deadly Water slide o' Fun.
That sounds like the happiest place on Hacknor. Screw Disney!" Artie Bleacher 6-3-1996

Why did Disney need a screw? Koma replaced all the cybernetic enhancements Walt had with synthoid technology. Oh well I didn't have time to think about all of that. I had to get the one hour guest pass.

I got to the ticket window. The ticket persons hairy back was turned to me.
"Excuse me. How do I obtain a one hour guest pass? I asked.
"Listen lady!" He began as he turned to face me. "There's only o... whoa! Two ways for a pretty lady like you to get the one hour pass." He smiled. His eyes were scanning me up and down. I can't help it if I'm desirable to most things male. Though I did wonder which species this one was. Also I was wearing my Tamaran swimsuit.
Its modeled on the Titan Starfire's The hat of course is my own touch.
"Whats your name baby?" he asked trying to look as sexy as he could, which was proving impossible.
"My names Lin." I replied.
"Nice to meet you Lin." He did a little air kiss. I turned to Vandal who, despite being on my shoulder hadn't been noticed.
"Eyes front moron." ordered Vandal.
"Wha!" exclaimed the startled hirsute man. "Did that crow just talk?"
"Yeah I did." Vandal hopped from my shoulder to the bench in front of the man with the body beard."Now you gonna tell us how to get this pass. Or are you just gonna drool at the lady?"
"No sir!" replied the man-bear. He even stood to attention. "As I said there are two ways you can buy the one hour free pass or you can take the Deadly Dare."
"And how much is the pass?" I ask politely.
"Its 500 Hacks. But we do take OTHER forms of payment." The follicly enabled one winked when he said other. He must have thought I had a bar of gold pressed latinum stashed somewhere. Why did he think that? Cause well look at me, you think I have pockets in this costume. I'm not hiding anything here. I wonder what Power Girl or even Wonder Woman would have done in a situation like this.
"Its going to have to be the Deadly Dare then." I said.

The Deadly Dare consisted of riding the Deadly Water slide o' Fun 10 times in twenty minutes. Now it took just over a minute to complete a single ride. But thats the easy bit, the hard bit is completing the 6 flights of stairs to get back to the top of the water slide.
I wasn't the only one up for the Deadly Dare there were other guys who wanted a free ride too.
For the average human being the effects of a waterslide when combined with racing up flights of stairs does tax even the fitest person. But as I said before I'm not human. I completed the tenth lap with 2 minuts to spare.

After the other contestants were rushed off in ambulances or the bodies picked up by the mourge. I was awarded the Artie Bleacher Memorial One Hour Guest Pass.
"When did Artie die?" I asked the Hairy Hans (which was the fat hairy mans name)
"He died two weeks after the banner was displayed. They found him dead in his bathtub wearing mouse ears." explained Hans. "Natural causes they said. Ha!"

I couldn't see what was so funny about dying of natural causes.

Anyway I've got the pass.

Love you all.



cooltopten said...

dead in his bathtub wearing mouse ears , hmm sounds like a chesse overdose :)

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

That bird is quite a sidekick, there.

Kon-El said...

comickonWow i had no idea wildlife was going to be at the deadly water slide O' fun. Wait that was the ticket gut, I mean guy.

Erifia Apoc said...

Synth gets no MTG card! No MTG card for Synth.

Good post. I'm not sure I like that raven, I think he jacked one of my chips. And no-one jacks my chips.

Dark Jedi Kriss said...

"dead in his bathtub wearing mouse ears , hmm sounds like a chesse overdose :)"


Nathan Petrelli said...

I don't know what was more exciting: the swimsuit, or that kick @#$ waterslide.

Henchman432 said...

The water slide.

Synth-Lin said...

I get no card!

Krissy its was a sad thing that Artie Bleacher died in such strange circumstances. Then again you and The Hairy Hans (or did I get it backwards Hans the Hairy oh that does sound better) You and Hans may have the same humor.

I have to say the water slide was very good. But after 10 times in 20 minutes I am quite bored of it.

But still no card Erifia.

Love you all.


Professor Xavier said...

I'll tell you what Wonder Woman would have done - smacked that fat tard up side the head.

Synth-Lin said...

You go Girl!

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