Monday, May 14, 2007

Slide O’ Slime

An obstacle course? Pleaseeeeeeeee! You think a Jedi can’t handle that? Jedi training is more than just using the force and learning to use a saber. For Force sake, we have Sarlacc pit in the basement areas! We have to walk it on a tight rope! Many a good Padawan was lost that way.

I took a moment to meditate before going through the gate. I reached out and sensed everything before me. Traps, no problem, flamethrowers, a joke, wild water, yes! And then… slime? A slide of slime? ACK!

I pushed the thought of it away.

The traps were super easy. I could sense them before I reached them. So I avoided those. Loved the quicksand, I jumped right over it. And as for the flamethrowers, my lightsaber ate those blasts like candy. The whole course was easy until…

I got to the slide o’ slime. I froze. I stood on the platform over it and stared down at it. It was green, bubbled and it smelt like Jaba Hutt’s bathroom and looked just as nasty. I wrinkled my nose. I had to slide down this to get out?

There are some things a Jedi Knight should never have to do.

Slides of slime are high up on the list.

“You better move it,” a voice in my head told me.

“Shut up, bucket brain,” I muttered.

“Just imagine you are a Georgia Swamp chicken and go!” he snorted in my head.

A what????

After a shiver of disgust I did. I slide down, slime hitting my face, going up my nose! So gross! I’ll never get it out my nose, I swear! I bounced, almost rolled over on my sides a few times. There was something in the slime… I don’t know what it was but it dark green and stuck to me as I slogged through it.

At the bottom, my feet hit a rock and flipped up in the air. I came down face first in the slime! It went up my nose, in my mouth, in my ears! I jumped up and screamed, “EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!”

“Slam dunk!” a small kid-like voice said in my head, laughing.

“Slime dunk, you mean,” said bucket head.

I really hate those two right now.

I went green. No pun intended. Maybe I should say, greener…

I lost my lunch.

That was green, too.

Excuse me; I need to go shower…again.

11 comments:

Darth Vader said...

I can still smell you.

Skywalker said...

Force! *covers face* DJ! That's just nasty!

Professor Xavier said...

A Sarlaac Pit? Is that anything like Wolverine's bedroom? Somehow I tend to think so.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

A Sarlaac pit probably doesn't smell quite as bad.

Erifia's Author said...

A Georgia Swamp Chicken, aye? Hey baby... When you are running through the swamps of Georgia, and you are out of ammo, and all you have is a knife and a will to live, then a Swamp Chicken looks pretty appetizing...

And there is something about a woman covered in slime. Makes me want to roll down that slide and join you.

Good Post.

(This post has been judged by Erifia's Author.)

Simon said...

While I normally don't mind pretty girls covered in slime, your escapade just wasn't doing it for me. The best I can say is that it was short.

Nathan Petrelli said...

You were covered in slime? Was it...everywhere? Just curious...

Dark Jedi Kriss said...

Yes everywhere...


Thank Simon, I wasn't expacting much from you.

Catia Ravenstone said...

If you had any sense, burn the slime away with your lightsaber.

Bantha puke and lightsabers don't mix

That's what the slime was you know..

Henchman432 said...

Team Shower...

Gyrobo said...

Everyone always focuses on the slime and never on the people who make the slime.