Alright boys and girls, I am going to pass judgment on you because some slack jawed non-Colonial Marine personnel got herself stuck in the Stargate. (Sorry Arfia, don’t be mad at me ‘cuz I told everyone).
Now I am tough but fair. In my eyes, you are all equal. Some more equal than others.
Here is my judgement:
Local Henchman: Congratulations, you came in first. Unfortunately, you came in first on the wrong course so you don’t win. Ha ha. Jughead called, he wants his hat back. What? The hat, get it? Aw nevermind.
Godfrey: Good job, Jedi have super strength, right? Can you open this jar of peanut butter for me?
Dark Jedi Kriss: Good job, I especially liked the shower part. So uh, what are you doing this Saturday?
Kon-El: Your performance on this challenge hinges on this one very, very important question: Can you give Power girl this note with my phone number?
Petrelli: You get negative points for having that long haired hippy freak on your post. I can’t stand them hippies, they’re always like “Oh man,” and “like wow, man.”
Synth-Lin: You’re too hot for words. ‘Nuff said.
Xavier: You also get negative points. I don’t recall telling anyone to use armor on the course. You sir, are not Colonial Marine material. I pity you and all your illegitimate children.
Gyrobo: There’s something awesome about how you work. Can we hook you up to the Sulaco and power the warp drives?
Bennet: Clearly this was your moment to shine, you negotiated this course like a seasoned pro. If you wanted to be a Colonial Marine, you could go far. Man, you could be a corporal maybe a corporal first class.
So, that’s how that rolls. I’d like to make you all winners, but that’s not how it works around here, especially since most of you stunk up the joint like PFC Vasquez’s armpits after PT.
Dark Jedi Kriss, you are the winner of this round. Oh, did I mention that I am free on Saturday night? Mebbe you and I could go out to dinner or something? It's franks and beans night at the chowhall.
OK, Team-O Supremo email Jon with your vote.