Friday, May 25, 2007

My story. Sans pictures

Monkeyboys are disgusting, rude and they throw their own poo.
I know this because I have been pelted by it.
I now know why Henchy hates them.
This is the story of how I came to share that hate.

When I got to Island M (which I'm sure Magneto has a trademark suit coming against it.) I find the monkeyboys. They call me Hoochie Momma and scream out Hellooo Nurse!
They offer me a banana cream pie and I thank them kindly. Then the pie explode's in my face. They all laugh and think its a great joke. I accept it as part of the monkeyboy culture and laugh along. I continue on my way past them and one of them sprays a seltzer bottle in my face. Annoying, but it did wash away the remnants of the banana cream pie. I thanked the monkeyboy and continued on my way.
"Lady! lady! lady!" called another behind me. He was holding a present wrapped up with a big pink bow. He looked at me his eyes all wide, smiling and innocent.
"Is that for me?" I asked.
He nodded and I took it from him. Of course I did expect it to blow up when I went to open it. What I didn't expect was that the present contained, plastique explosives.
The blast sent me hurtling through the air. I ended up being stopped by a well placed brick wall. I knew they'd put it there cause the cement was still wet. I struggled out of the bricks to the applause of the monkeyboy horde.
"Bravo! Encore!" They shouted.
"Is this funny to you?" I shouted loosing my temper.
"Yes." they answered in unison.
I had a job to do and I realised that Jons fear of a planet full of monkeyboys was right. Hell an island of them was getting on my nerves.
I decided to get to the Transporter as quickly as I could. I ran to where I knew the faulty device was. Of course the monkeyboys responded to my flight. I thought I'd gotten ahead of the horde but I was wrong. From out of the trees came the onslaught. They began throwing banana peels, pies, anvils, and dumbbells. Somewhere along the line a neo-classical statue landed in front of me.
"What next a grand piano?" I asked.
I saw my goal in front me. Its was still spewing out monkeyboys.
I got the control panel I pressed the button. The transporter stopped.
It was all over. I allowed myself a moment of victory.
I was hit by the monkeyboys most lethal weapon. Poo.

So thats what happened.

Love you all. (except monkeyboys)



Gyrobo said...

That one that sprayed your with seltzer- was he riding a unicycle? It seems like he should have been.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Was he wearing a clown outfit, too? Because there's nothing funnier than a monkeyboy in a clown outfit unless it's a monkeyboy in a baseball outfit.

Henchman432 said...

Good times.

Ghost of Congressman Nathan Petrelli said...

Those monkeyboys sure do enjoy the poo.

Erifia's Author said...

I remember this time down in Africa, I was dealing with a horde of Baboons. Now, these baboons have very scary little butts. You know what I'm talking about, look like they've been frost bitten. So, I was carrying a Neo-Classical Statue in my afro at the time. They all begin to fling stuff at me until I dropped the bust of Zues... That seemed to work. They began to throw it at each other... We ate good chilled monkey brains that night.

Okay post.

Professor Xavier said...

Lin covered in poo? That's just not right.