Saturday, June 23, 2007

Xavier wears clothes

"Oh Professor, your late!"

That was the rather cute young Gladiator wardrobe girl. She seemed rather tense.

"There isn't time to have you try on any of the outfits!" she said anxiously. I could see the panic growing in her face.

"It will be alright," I assured her, doing my best to radiate calm.

"Oh! I have an idea! We can use the Auto-Cladamatron!" All at once her tension faded, replaced by a warm smile. Too bad I was running late. "It's still experimental but I'm sure it will work. Just enter here."

Her enthusiasm was refreshing. I rolled into the giant metal box in the corner and she started fumbling with the controls. With a loud zap, a bright light filled the small chamber. I looked down to see my suit had vanished. It was replaced with . .

"What on Earth is this?" I asked, a little put out to find myself wearing some kind of dominatrix outfit.

"It's the latest in Kryptonian fashion," the girl assured me. "But we can try something else."

She twisted a dial and threw the switch and suddenly I was wearing . .

"What the hell?!" I demanded. "Change it! Quick!"

With an embarassed giggle, she fiddled with the knobs. One zap later . .

"Arrhhh!!! Absolutely not! Change it!!"


"Er . . well, it's not my usual thing," I said. "But I suppose it will do."

"Good, 'cause we're out of time!"

The girl escorted me to the studio that had been set up for the promo interview. I took my place next to the desk and then the interviewer came out. Oh no! Not this clown again!

"Hey, good to see you again, Professor X!" Carrot Top exploded.

"When I saw this gig come through on Craig's List I volunteered straight away! I can't tell you how much material I got out of you from our last interview!"

"Delightful," I answered coldly, refusing to return his high five.

Pulling his hand back, he said, "So tell me, who do you like to win this show?"

"Well, aside from me I think that Kriss has been doing an-"

"Hey, what do you call a bunch of rabbits hopping backwards?"

"Excuse me?"

"A receding hair line! Get it, baldy?"

"Er, yes. Very funny."

"How many mutants does it take to screw in a light bulb?"

"What? Well, that's just-"

"One to change the bulb and then a construction crew to rebuild the building afterwards! 'Cause you mutants are always blowing everything up! AHA HA HA HA HA!!

That last joke sent Carrot Top into fits of giggles. The crew in the studio were laughing there heads off. At that I took my cape and went back the dormitory.


Noah Bennet said...

Carrot Top??? Gah! He's worse than you. Boo, Carrot Top! Boo!

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

But where were his props? Carrot Top is extra super funny when he starts pulling out the props. I should know, I saw him twice in college.

Dark Jedi Kriss said...

*Woof calls*


That spandex looks good on you!

Professor Xavier said...

Right back at you, baby.

As far as his props, I heard something about his special trunk of comic gear getting put on the wrong shuttle. I think his props wound up on Saturn.

Private Hudson said...

Didja get that hammock from the Hammock Hut? They have some quality hammocks.

Henchman432 said...

Carrot Top rocks. And by rocks, I mean blows.

Noah Bennet said...

And by blows, you mean is a moronic freak that should never be allowed near a camera. You rock, Hench.

Kon-El said...

Man Not evreyone can just wear an s shield Dangit! Ok The promo was ok. And the costume is just Well anything is better than seein' you in Wonder woman's clothes again bleh!

Synth-Lin said...

I thought you'd have gone for something more like this.

I did laugh a lot at your choice. Oh well we all have our fantasies. I never thought yours would be the big blue beef cake.

Love you all


Simon said...

Question - how much gayer could you outfits be?

Answer - none.

Erifia Apoc said...

Simon, God Love you. No-one else will.

Hey Prof. I'm kind of confused why you didn't dress up like Captain Picard, or perhaps King Richard the Third, you know from When Robin Hood and his men wore tights. Or even that guy from the American Father show, who runs the CIA?

As far as the post goes, Good Job!

Professor Xavier said...

It was that damn whatz-it contraption they put me into. I had no control over it all. If it had been up to me I would have just tried on Dolche suits.

Ghost of Congressman Nathan Petrelli said...

Is it wrong to be intrigued by the site of you in a wonder woman outfit?