Do I look like a salesperson to you? Well I ended up as one. I thought saving the galaxy was hard work! Pssssh! Not even close.
I decided to sell cotton candy on mini glowing fake lightsabers. So cute, little hilts and sticks of different colors. My idea. It was hit too. On top of that… Xavier had the idea I should wear my gold slave girl bikini. HE said it would boot sales. Personally I think he just wanted to see me wear it.
I worked hard all day, the crowd never ended, it seemed. I had cotton candy mess in my hair, on my top, everywhere. And I couldn’t stop eating it, either.
It’s additive, you know?
After sneaking bites of this stuff all day I was hyper and my senses were all whack. So I was taking a break sitting down on the floor, trying not to eat more cotton candy when I hear someone tap on the counter impatiently. I sat up on my knees and looked over counter and there he was.
“What in the Force are you doing here?” I snapped.
Vader shouts at the same time. “What in the Force are you doing here?”
I stood up. “You came here to bother me.”
“I most certainly did not! I was going to buy come cotton candy. I like it,” Vader said, crossing his arms.
“Why? You can’t eat it! How would get in your mouth?” I asked, rolling my eyes.
“I find your lack of service to be disturbing.”
I leaned over and popped his helmet. “How’s that for service?”
I scooped up a large bundle of cotton candy and shoved it at him. “I want to see you eat it. And if you whip out a blender, I’ll kill you.” (Can you even blend cotton candy like that?)
He tears off a piece and stares at it. I slapped the counter. “See? I knew it! You can’t eat it! You did come here to bother me! You came to goggle my outfit!”
“Fine. You’re fired,” he snapped.
“I rented the coliseum for this event, so for today I’m your boss. Or was. You are fired,” Vader said.
I jumped over counter and… tried to get in his face. 7 feet to my 5’4, that’s why I say tried. “Who are you? Donald Trump? You can’t fire me, this is contest challenge.”
I gave a whistle. My little Monkeyboy friend jumped out from behind the counter, followed by a few of his pals. These were the guys who didn’t get sucked back in the transporter. They seemed to like me and follow me around a lot.
They were good for security, too.
“Escort Darth Trump out of here!” I shouted.
“You no bother the Queem of the popper! MOOMMOGOGLLAAA!” Monkeyboys shout, swinging their plastic nanners at Vader’s legs. Funniest thing I have seen: Vader attacked by Monkeyboys. He was fighting off the little jumpers all the way out of the coliseum.
I packed up after that and hide out with Xavier for the rest of the afternoon. His sales double in an hour. I don’t know why…