Thursday, June 28, 2007

Five Bees...For What?

Ladies and Gents.

This week we get a quest from a incontinent, incoherent Dum dum.

Jon: "There you go, Gladiators. Your challenge is to go on Bone Grinder’s hero’s quest. Kriss, you will go with Charlene “Chainsaw” Thrace, Henchman will accompany Demonseed, and Bennet will go with Ironhand Heynow. Follow Bone Crusher’s directions and accomplish your tasks. Like the last challenge, all contestants and judges will decide the winner. And oh yes, good luck. You’ll need it. "

I get the joy of being accompanied by Demonseed.

"Oooooh yeeeah!" He shouts. "The madness is runnin' wild!"

I ask "Hey Chuckles, do you know what the heck Bone Grinder was talking about."

D.S.:"The tower of power, too sweet to be sour, ohhhh yeahh!"

HM: "So we have to get to a Tower? Do you know where it is?"

DS: "I've been everywhere from soaring with the eagles to slithering with the snakes."

HM: "Okay...Lets get to the ship.Space it is."

DS: "Oooooh yeeeah!"

(If this Goofy Little Bastard keeps up with this. I am plugging him into the torpedo hole.)

We blast off to find the Tower of power. I check the onboard Cpu for info about Jimmy James Taftenhour Junior the president of the galactic senate .It seems he disappered a while back. Hhmm..Strange.

I am in deep thought,trying to come up with a plan. Like clockwork I hear.

DS: "We're in space and space is the place!"

HM: "Great, Thanks. I really didn't where we were at all.Aren't you hungry"

DS: "Snap into a Slim Jim!"

HM: "You do that." (Why? I just want to win this thing. But, nooo...I have to get stuck with Captain Soundbite.) I go over the Intel. I figure we should make our way to Orion. Space Jump it is. Right out of the Wormhole...

Bam. We are being attack. This ship is trapped by a "Do not pass Go" beam. Bandits board the ship.

I ask if I can help them.

The Robot says




HM : "What?"

"He wants to use the bathroom."

HM: "Who said that ?"

"I'm the ship's mechanic, Timmy."

HM: "Where you hiding? This ship is smaller than a one bedroom in New York City." ( Oh man, my head hurts. I think back on what Bone Grinder was yapping about.)

Bone Grinder:" I was pissing on the desert sand when the desert whispered to me, isn’t it a fracking shame? Things will never be the same. I’ll tell you what I am, I’m a repo man!"

Desert...Where is the biggest desert....


The Bandits go potty and leave. I make another hyperspace jump to Dune.

Demonseed start up again."Expect the unexpected in the kingdom of madness!"

I replay "You are the biggest help, ever." (I will not summon a darkbeast to eat him. I will not.) I think about BoneGrinders words again.

BoneGrinder:" I’ll tell you what I am, I’m a repo man!"

Ok, we have to steal something back. Yeah! But, what? I call out "Hey Spilledseed get over here. Tell me, what BoneGrinder was going to repo?"

"The Sensational One leading the madness down that aisle! It's a feeling that you can't even explain." Demonseed roars out.

HM: "What aisle?Is it about a wedding? Give me a straight answer you freak."

Finally he shows me a picture of this.

I find out Jimmy James was going to give this bike to BoneGrinder as a reward, but canceled the contract. Demonseed and I break into Jimmy James home and steal the bike. After to Hyperspace jumps, we are near Hacknor obit. Demon seed tries to pull a double cross.

DS: "Hey, freakshow! You're goin' NOWHERE! I got'cha for three minutes! Three minutes of playtime!"

"OK, fine. (I have been waiting for this.) Just let me ask you something? What is my favorite ballet?"

He shruggs.

"The Nutcracker." I say as I swiftly kick him in the little boys.

He drops like fourth period french.

Dental for all.

Dr.Polairs rules.


Synth-Lin said...

This was as sparse as space.

In fact about a empty as Paris Hilton's jail cell is.


Love you all


Dark Jedi Kriss said...

Oooooh yeeeah!
Oooooh yeeeah!

Did I metion: Oooooh yeeeah!?

Good choice, Hench

Noah Bennet said...


Simon said...

Not bad, Nancy Drew. You managed to sift through mush like a regular detective. Clearly you're people skills need some work though. I can't imagine anyone voluntering to be your partner.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Simon, you used "you're" incorrectly!

Oooh, that's gotta hurt!

And Hanch, nice epic. Oooh yeeah.

Simon said...

Everybody's a critic.

Henchman432 said...

Uhm..Jon, you misspelled "Hench"...Just saying.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Uh, no I didn't.

I was combining your occupation with the name of one of my favorite dressings -- ranch. Hench + ranch = Hanch.

Oooooh yeahhh! That's the ticket.