Saturday, June 16, 2007

Judgment #8

Hey everyone, congratulations on making it to the final five. Its getting down the wire, and soon I won’t be your judge. I don’t know how soon, but soon I will be just a memory. But, its not this week.

Now, you’ve been through all of the talks, and I am going to instruct you in a way to get a better post so that way you have a better chance of winning.

Godfrey – Hello Darkness my old friend. Here’s my best suggestion, and follow me on this. When you go to write a post, perhaps writing a short outline, and checking the sequence of events and if it solves the problem posed. To be honest, I couldn’t exactly gather what you were doing.

Dark Jedi Kriss – What up Jedi Sister? Though I agree with Summer Dawn, Corbiscide took a step out of the line, I will admit, I enjoy your pictures and, as you notice, everyone uses pictures in these final posts. I also understand you make your posts vivid so that they won’t need pictures, I notice that. Get a picture, they make me laugh.

Hench – My author forwarded the money to your account, he expects the Dark Jedi to be delivered soon. As far as improvement goes, I would suggest use a little more vivid imagery in the wording of the posts. This will assist you greatly in all of your efforts, not just this competition.

Professor – I am proud of you, you didn’t take control of anybody. I am also proud of you because you stole from Henchman. The post overall was good, but you were lacking a punch line. You even had yourself set up for a good Punchline post. The Monkey’s say five things. At the end of the post you could have had someone pull the string, and it say, “That’s how we monkey’s handle monkey business!” Its not the best one, but it would have been hilarious to have all five in it. Hit up a punchline.

Bennet – The post was up to par with how the final five should be. My suggestion to you. Shorten it. Not like, write “The beginning… The End…” But if you can remove two or three paragraphs of length, it becomes a more manageable post. If Jon is doing it the same as last year, I won’t be voting, it will be the public. Keep it shorter for the childrens.

I hope I didn’t insult or hurt any of your feelings, I now how it feels to be critiqued on your writing. What I am trying to do now is just get you set up for a winning series of final posts.

Now. To announce the winner of immunity and being assured in the final four.

Which leads to the final three…

Which leads to the final two…

Which leads to the winner.

Here we go, and the winner of immunity is…

Henchy.

Congratulations… You can’t vote for Henchman… But you must decide who won’t move onto the final four.

If you’ll excuse me, I have a Food in the oven,

Hugs and Kisses,
Erifia

7 comments:

Dark Jedi Kriss said...

He just won cause he gave you a free copy. *pounts*

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

I suspect foul play.

All contestants, send me your vote.

Noah Bennet said...

I guess it was long. But I had to explain the mechanics of my mutant trap!

I can't believe you picked a pornographic Jedi over one in a hot dog costume.

Professor Xavier said...

*sputter - coffee sprays out of mouth*

Henchman?! But he's just a boob!

Inconceivable.

Noah Bennet said...

He's a better boob than you'll ever be.

Henchman432 said...

Yeah Baby.Who's house...Henchy's house.

Godfrey Zebulon said...

I know not one of my better posts.. That was supposed to be snapshots of the hour while I was at the consession stand but it didn't work like I wanted

Erifia, thanks for the advice I will follow it in the future.

Henchman, though I can't blame Kriss is she strings you up like a jack in the box, congratulations on winning immunity.