Monday, June 18, 2007

New Armor and Joan Rivers

The armor making took hours. I was annoyed by the time it was over, I wanted to kill someone. But I must admit they did a wonderful job. Wouldn’t fly at the Temple but I not at the Temple, am I?

I donned my new duds made by the Intergalactic Gladiator Entertainment fashion designers and ushered into a hovercraft to the interview area. The host of the interview portion of the show was waiting. I walked down the red carpet with my chin up.

Joan Rivers greets me at the at the end red carpet, microphone in hand.

Joan smiles, her makeup so thick it looked like it would crack. “Oh! Look who we have here! The only female remaining in this contest! DJK! And look at what she has on! It’s short, it’s skimpy, and it’s TOTALLY HOT! How does it feel to make this far?” she gabs poking a microphone in my face.

I cleared my throat and opened my mouth.

Joan cuts me off. “Superb! Do tell us! Are the men on the show nice to you? Do they give you a hard time?”

“Well, they-”

“Wonderful! You are Jedi Knight! How do you get away with competing in LGS?”

“The Jedi Counsel doesn’t min-” I tried to say.

“Splendid! You have such a pretty lightsaber! And it matches! Do you play with it a lot?” she asks.

“I don’t pla-” I started.

“Magnificent! We wish you the best of luck! Now smile at the camera!”

Joan steps back and a camera flashes in my face.

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Eat your heart out Lord Vader!

I didn’t say that!

13 comments:

Skywalker said...

O.o I can't be looking at this.

*peeks anyway*

Purple People Eater!

HA!

Kon-El said...

While your outfit was forcealicous, Your Promo skills are I don't wanna be harsh, So I'll just say they lack. I mean Intergalactic Gladiators Are entertainers , and have to be heard. if that means pullin' the mike outta Joan Rivers hand then they do it.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

great outfit, it really works for you.

Isn't Joan Rivers a Sith or something? Her and Mellissa, always two there are.

Dark Jedi Kriss said...

Yes, I think they are and they smell like moth balls, too.

Simon said...

Normally I'd chastise you for pandering, but since most of the judges this week are male, I'd have to say that was rather well played.

Synth-Lin said...

Joan was right the lightsaber does match with the purple ensemble. However purple doesn't really match you hair colour.

I'd give you a 7 out of 10.

Purple and Red you end up dead.

Love you all

Lin

Barris Offee said...

Well at least your not wearing that outfit around the Jedi Temple.

And Anakin, do I need to remind of your pink boxers with white flowers that you had on the last time you were in my healing ward?

Erifia's Author said...

I seem to recall this one time, I was dating a girl who wore that very same outfit. Turned out she was a Lady-Knight. That was cool. Problems happened when it came to who got to fight off the dragon. I wanted to shoot it, she said that was dishonorable. She wanted to stab it, I said that would be too close. She put me up as a sacrifice to the dragon. Its best you not ask how I got out of his stomach.

Good Post Dark Jedi. But sadly my opinion means nothing this week.

Dr. Zaius said...

Wait a minute - Joan Rivers?

Darth Vader said...

Very nice.

Indeed.

Ghost of Congressman Nathan Petrelli said...

SIGH! You skipped through how you got the armor pretty quick, but hey the results were great.

Henchman432 said...

Yeah Baby, Yeah.

Ryan Biggs said...

Your tense is shifting constantly from present to past, especially when transitioning between your actions and Joan's. Fix it, it will sound better.