Saturday, April 21, 2007

Your Judge, Erifia.

I sat upon my throne, deep in the heart of the ruins of an abandoned planet. It was a clear and sunny day, the nearby battle-droids served my Indigo-Lemonade, and I drank it happily.

Then they tossed me an intruder. I could tell by the hat who it was. It was Jon, Intergalatic Gladiator. He withdrew his gun, and fired happily, destroying the battledroids in attendance.

I clapped. It amused me.

"Kill two more."

He didn't have a complaint as to killing anything.

"Erifia, I see you have used your winnings well from LGS."

"I have."

"I need your help."

"What do you need?"

"I need you to be a judge. I need, I need, I need, pretty pleasure with sugar and cherries, and lightsabers on top."

"No. There is nothing in it for me. There is also nothing you can do or say to change my mind, I could not, would not be a judge. I will not judge them in a car, I will not judge them from afar. I will not judge them, Jon-I-Am, I will not judge those crazy-hams."

"Hudson won't ever watch you shower again."

"Done. Let me get my ship ready."

Or... If you aren't dealing in a fantasy in my head.

Knock-Knock, I heard at my door to my ship. I opened it, it was Jon.

"I need you to be a Judge for LGS. It pays well. Lots of money each competition."

"Hmmm..."

"And Hudson will never watch you shower again."

"Deal."

We shook.

As Your Judge, I will do my best to keep it fair, and even. I will be judging on Originality, Quality, Hilarity or How Serious it is, and How it fits into the requirements each challenge sets.

I accept bribes. I also accept first born children and Aayla's Lekkus. Both of them or no deal. To complete your bribes, I accept only Cash or Moneyorder. You need to send the information to-

*Mumbling over an earpiece*

-What do you mean I can't take bribes?

Okay, so I will not accept bribes. I do however notice when money is dropped at my feet, and Flattery will get you everywhere, lover.

Hugs and Kisses,
Erifia Apoc.

11 comments:

Kon-El said...

children? How about I giive you the first born child of A saiyan, and the best martial artist on planet earth ya may have to wait a couple Of years, and The future mother is a bit mean she hits people in uncomfortable places with metal gloves, but still I think I can get it.

Superman said...

Conner! Stop offering up future children of your friends as bribes! i know Cassandra punched in the groin, but that's no way to deal with it.

Dark Jedi Kriss said...

*Groans*

Synth-Lin said...

Hmmm Aayla's Lekkus.

Ok first who's Aayla and whats a Lekus. Or is it Lekki.

Its what Vandal?

Ewwww. Gross. Why would you want someones skin hair. Looks like a bad case of ganglion's I've ever seen.

Aliens are weird.

Oh well a bribes a bribe. Just like when Robin wanted me to come over to his pool party, but there was only Robin and me. He then tried to tell me he was a nudist and I had to comply with his rules. He then tired to bribe me with a ride in the batmobile. Some bribe. We didn't even go anywhere cause he didn't have the keys.

Love you all

Lin

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Heh heh heh, did I just promise that Hudson won't peek at you showering anymore? Silly me.

Gyrobo said...

What if the firstborn are twins?

Mr. Bennet said...

You can have my son, what's-his-name.

And by the way, just so you know, I'm very original, quality-ish, hilarious, serious and requirement fitting.

Godfrey Zebulon said...

This should be intresting.. Tai is out of the question.. as are Aayla's lekkus.. the last of the three.. well.. more possible is all I'll say..

Anything is survivable if you see through to the knot in the middle.. I could tell you about the myth of Alexander and the ox cart knot.. but I'd probably bore everyone to death.... Which it's bettergrandfather had me go in his place.. he'd tell it anyway and not care* snickers*

Professor Xavier said...

Well thanks for the heads up, Erifia. I'll be sure to bring some cash with me. I never knew you had a fantasy about being an Empress. Or was that a vision of the future?

Erifia Apoc said...

(Future, muhahahaha.)

Henchman432 said...

Oh man I can't believe I slep with you...