Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Mission One: Part 1

Mr. Bennet boldly takes on the first of many challenges to come....

"Here? Don't we have restrooms?" I asked as Jon was giving us the details of the first challenge.

"Drop ships!"

"Oh, nevermind then." I listened attentively. Remedy pilots, taste Asian alfalfa, lunch tubes, deck elves, race odds, six boys....sounded like standard first challenge obstacles.

I heard enough. I took off running. If I was going to remedy the pilot, I'd need to get to him before his symptoms progressed too far.

I jumped aboard the nearest dropship. "I'm Mr. Bennet. I'm here to remedy you!" Suddenly, the craft jolted into the air. I was knocked to the floor. The momentum kept me pinned, but I wasn't concerned for my well-being. I only cared about helping the pilot. Because if I didn't help him, I'd fail, and then The Company would revoke my pension.

Eventually, the momentum went away and I was able to get to my feet. I ran into the cockpit. "What's your illness?"

"I'm special, ma'am."

"You are?"

"Yes, ma'am. Very much so."

"I'm not a woman."

"I know. They haven't taught us how to refer to males yet."

It was clear this man was a moron. Why? Out of all the pilots, all the possible illnesses, I had to get a mentally-challenged one. That can't be remedied! I would certainly fail this challenge.

And then we landed. "Mission accomplished!" my pilot said to me.



"Hey, aren't you..."

"Yeah."

"What are you doing here?"

"Being in the Hacknor Colonial Marines keeps me out of the war."

"So, is this it? I finished the challenge?"

"Yeah."

"So, what are they doing?" I pointed out the window. Other contestants were arriving and running inside a space station.

"Cuttin' and runnin'."

11 comments:

Synth-Lin said...

Alfalfa?

Thats all I have to say.

Love you all

Lin

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

They can't cut and run! If they cut and run, the terr'ists win. We have a saying here on Hacknor, I know we say it in Texshus, I'm sure you say it on Hacknor, "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice... uh... I won't get fooled agin."

Nathan Petrelli said...

It has often been said that I am a chip off the Bush, when it comes to political mis-speak...Is that a word?

I wonder what they meant by that??? Perhaps they are pointing out my support of the OBGYNs getting to practice their love with women all across America.

Mr. Bennet said...

They never stop thinking of ways to harm America, and neither do we!

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Mr. Bennet sounds like the next great mis-communicator.

cooltopten said...

I,m surprised you pilot figured out how to put his seat belt on , let alone fly a plane :)

Erifia Apoc said...

Sounds a little...Uhm... Stupid to me. Nice cut, too bad no-one but us will ever read it.

That was too easy. Tooo easy.

Mr. Bennet said...

I thought the entire universe tuned in to this show???

Professor Xavier said...

Sounds like you need to check your hearing aid, Mr. Bennet. And if I were stuck with that man piloting my ship, the first thing I would do is check my parachute.

Simon said...

Mr. Bennet, I don't mean to be rude but has your face ever showed any kind of emotion, ever?

Mr. Bennet said...

I sometimes cry. Like when I lose my Claire Bear or watch Freedom Writers.

But usually I'm smug. Sometimes I smugly smile. Is that an emotion?