Monday, April 30, 2007

Xavier visits the Home

Our team divvied up the assignments for the scavenge hunt and went our separate ways. I had to got to the Old Gladiator’s Home on Fire Island 2 and retrieve a pair of false teeth. Alright, that shouldn’t be a problem. I mean I’ve been to Home before and most of the residents are harmless old codgers.

Heading out to the landing pad, I saw an odd assortment of dropships and hoverbikes. I shuddered at the thought of getting back into that rusty old deathtrap of a dropship so I crossed over to the hoverbike.

Moving from my chair to the bike was a strenuous bit of trickiness but I managed it. With great confidence I flipped open the safety and pressed the ignition. The engines hummed satisfactorily to life. Easing back on the throttle, I took into the air.

Passing over the uncharacteristically calm waters of Smoldering Lakes of Agony, I reached Fire Island 2 rather quickly. I could see the compound of the old folks home below me. Several slowly decaying bodies were sprawled out around the 3 foot deep, Olympic Sized pool. I could feel several more minds inside the building. This should be rather straightforward.

I landed the hoverbike next to the Tapioca Pudding vendor and set the controls on idle. Just as I was about to get about solving the task, another vehicle landed near the pool. In the pilot’s seat was a tall man in bee keeper’s outfit. Henchman!

How perfect. He has no defenses to my telepathic powers. I reached into his mind and easily took control of him. Henchman tried to resist, but it was futile.

“Hey! Looks like you done learned to fly that darn thing!” a gravely voice shouted out from behind me, seconds before a large gnarled old hand smacked into my back. I was startled I almost lost my grip on Henchie.

Turning around, I saw it was Bone Grinder, that worn out, yet surprisingly strong, old Gladiator I had meet last year.

“Aren’t you dead yet?” I asked.

He stared at me for a moment, all glass-eyed. Then he threw his back and laughed. “I like you, Baldy!” he shouted.

“Lucky me.”

“You know what I’m a gonna do for ya? I’m a gonna let you take a free poke at me. Go ahead. Right in the gut. Give it your best shot!”

“I am not going to hit you,” I assured him.

“Come on! Swing away! I can takes it!”

“I have no doubt you can “take it,” but I have no interest in hitting you.”

“Come on!” he bellowed, closing his eyes and thrusting out his jaw. “Right here! Right on the chin!”


I had Henchman run over and tap Bone Grinder in the jaw. Bone Grinder’s eyes flew open and he seemed startled to see the bee keeper.

“Uh, wha’?” was all he said. I reached into his mind and put him to sleep. Bone Grinder fell to the cement floor like a sack of potatoes. When his head hit the ground, his false teeth popped out.

With a large smile on my face, I had Henchman bend over, pick them up and hand them to me. After I had taken off to the sky, I erased Henchman’s memory and released him. Hopefully the others did as well as I did.


Henchman432 said...

Why you son of a *****

Dark Jedi Kriss said...

Go, Professor, Go!

Godfrey Zebulon said...

* applauds* good thinking Professor. At least you didn't end up having to dodge flying metal from a trashed hovercycle lol

Erifia Apoc said...

You don't deserve an MTG card.

Nice. I got the joke with Bone-Grinder, how many other people did? And I love your use of the lesser minded to do your dirty work.


Nathan Petrelli said...

Ahh. Yes. Good Job..I guess I have to give you that much.....

You're always taking over stuff!! (HUFF)

Simon said...

Once again with the recycling. Hopefully you'll come up with something original before you get the boot.

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