Tuesday, April 24, 2007

My Fellow Gladiators-Challenge 1

Greetings to My Fellow Gladiators,

For those of you who may not know me, my name is Nathan Petrelli. I am incredibly good-looking, and I am running for congress in NYC. My campaign manager signed me up for these games a few days ago. She really didn’t have time to explain the rules to me because I have been tied up in Vegas on important business. I only know I am here to….Hey…Where did everyone go? Hello? Oh. I have a message from Jon Intergalactic Gladiator…Ohhh… That’s where everyone went.

I took off at a run, not knowing where I was going. I saw a large hanger and headed for it. “Hello…Hello…Is anyone here? Oh, I see someone. Excuse me…Sir..Do you know where the landing pad is located? I’m looking for a dropship??? Do you know what that is?"

“You’re not from around here are you? No matter…Landing pad is behind this storage bay. You can take a short cut through the bay. When you get to the landing pad, you will see the dropships. You’ll know them when you see them.”

I gave the strange man my thanks; and I was on my way. As I exited through the back of the hangar, I saw the landing pad. It was behind the hangar alright. It was two miles behind it. I could see the planes?? from where I stood. One of the planes flew away just as I cleared the door. It sped away faster than anything I have ever witnessed. The government must have spent a pretty penny on them. Since I couldn’t tell how many planes remained on the tarmac, I took a risk and allowed myself to lift off the ground. With no one around to witness my solo flight, I zipped across the landing pad and landed at the foot of the craft.

I rushed aboard with my jacket, briefcase, and the rest of my luggage. I called out to the pilot and told him to get the show on the road. I plopped down behind the pilot's seat and asked him if Planet Hacknow was anything like Planet Hollywood. Instead of answering me, he just made a few growling noises. That didn’t hurt my feelings, not everyone is talkative. Seconds after I strapped in, we lifted vertically off the tarmac. We shot into the air so quickly, I thought I would lose my lunch. Once my stomach settled, I looked out the window and noticed the Earth becoming a small dot in the distance. I yelled to the pilot, “I don’t care if you aren’t the talkative type. I need to know what is going on here. I know the challenge stated you were taking me to Space Station Alpha, but I thought it was a metaphor. This can’t be happening. The world doesn’t work like this!!!

The pilot shouted—no he growled—from the front, “We aren’t playing by the rules of your world anymore, Congressman Wannabe…”

Well, I couldn’t believe he had the nerve to say that to me, so I stood up and staggered toward the cockpit. I put my hand on the pilot’s shoulder; and when he turned around, I almost peed myself. My pilot looked like Bigfoot!!! Instead of the smart@#s reply that I was planning for him, I decided to return to my seat and keep my mouth shut until we docked at the space station. I pulled out my cell, but it was getting no reception, so I made a mental note to fire my campaign manager upon my return. Imagine, signing me up for Gladiator games with all sorts of different creatures without telling me about it, and during the final days of the election at that….

Seconds later, we landed at the space station, Bigfoot growled me toward the door. I grabbed my luggage again and went in search of the pod. Getting to deck twelve wasn’t a problem, I did notice a few people struggling with the pods. Apparently some of the pods didn’t have ramp entrances. This was not a problem for me. My flying abilities have come in handy so far, and I didn’t have a problem using them now. I flew the necessary distance to my pod and threw in my bags. I settled into the pilot’s chair. My experience in the gulf war served me well in this challenge…Well, my experience and the picture descriptions on the panel.

It didn’t take long for me to launch back into space. I pulled up the slalom course on the monitor and prepared to push the pod as fast as she could go. I passed by all six buoys and did a Tokyo Drift around the moon. http://www.thefastandthefurious.com/flashsite/site.html It was smooth as silk. However, when I hit the asteroid field doing top speed…Well, let’s just say, I’m glad I had a clean pair of Joe Boxers in my luggage. Even now, I can’t tell you how I made it through that asteroid field. I can only remember screaming like my brother, Peter, at a Menudo concert. (Don’t repeat that last part.) Anyway, I made it back to the landing pad in one piece. I don’t even know if I came in last place or not.

Just as I poked my head out of the pod to enquire about what I should do next, my cell phone beeped. I had 50 messages. All of them were from my Mother. The strange mechanic pulled up in a cart and offered to take me to the other contestants for celebratory drinks, but I ceased to hear what he was saying. All I could hear was the the distress in Mother’s voice.

The next thing I know, the mechanic is shaking my shoulder and asking me, “Are you alright, Mr. Petrelli? You are as pale as a ghost.” I didn’t respond to him. I just grabbed my bags for the last time. I told him I had to get back to NY. I darted into the sky quicker than any dropship could take me and broke the sound barrier in my attempt to get home to Peter…
Well, what happened next belongs in a blog at http://www.burnttoastdiner.com/; but for now, just realize that I am not out of the games…Well unless I’m voted off or something, but that shouldn’t happen. I am a natural leader and incredibly good-looking. Why would anyone want to get rid of me?

10 comments:

Dark Jedi Kriss said...

Most pilots look like Wookies! LMAO!

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Hey, wookies are great pilots. They're loyal and smart and they just LOVE to be scratched behind the ears.

Nathan Petrelli said...

You couldn't pay me enough money to criticize his piloting skills. I don't care how green he was.

Erifia Apoc said...

That Bigfoot, as mentioned, is a Wookie. Its intersting how you earthen suits see the world in which we live.

By the way, lose the briefcase, it will only hinder you, and tell your mommy Erifia said, "Hi." Then send her my picture. She'll faint, I think, or she'll ask you about grandchildren... *Sigh*

Professor Xavier said...

So you say you can fly, eh? If you want to apply for a spot on the X-Men, we are always looking for a few good men. And women. In tight clothes. Very, very tight clothes.

Nathan Petrelli said...

Please cut me some slack Ms. Erifia. I only discovered there were creatures from other worlds when the WOO KIE. turned around in the pilot's chair.

So...That is an interesting color skin you have going there...Are you seeing anyone?

oh..Professor, I think I'm going to be pretty busy in the coming weeks, but I will keep what you have said in mind. As luck would have it, my bum is so tight you could bouce dimes off of it. Needless to say, I would look awesome in tight clothes.

Professor Xavier said...

That's pretty much the main criteria for becoming an X-Man.

Simon said...

If the whole government stooge thing doesn't work out for you, you could always hire yourself out at parties to crack the walnuts.

Nathan Petrelli said...

(chuckle) Simon, you say that as though I haven't done it before...

Gyrobo said...

Personally, I'm a big fan of vertical lift.