Three days of the Hoff, huh? I grew up on Knight Rider, baby, I know what the Hoff likes! He thinks himself to be a real ladies man. Stoke that ego! It’s the only way to survive!
The Hoff comes to pick me up. I’m waiting outside the LGS studio for him, tapping my foot. He was late. Soon I see him running up. Time to perform.
“Hey, baby, I’m the Hoff!”
I smiled, clasped my hands together and start gushing like the girls who run after Anakin screaming: Like, OMG, he is so cute! First words out of my mouth: “I love Knight Rider! It’s my fave show EVER!”
“You rock, cutie! And you got good taste! Come on, you strangely dressed but hot looking woman.”
Now when the Hoff drives, its disturbing. He tells bad jokes and laughs a lot.
“What do termites eat for breakfast? Oakmeal!”
Over the next day The Hoff made friends with the Monkeyboy leader that follows me all over LGS studios. He popped out my pack and they hit it off so well I was ignored for hours. I was thankful for that. I needed a breather.
We went to an award ceremony. He won for Biggest Ego on The Planet. He was thrilled. The Hoff broke down, literally. I wanted to leave. Side note: the judges have obviously never met Vader. The Hoff wouldn’t have won.
“You love me, you really love me!” he cried.
Finally, he took me to a convention and walked me around like I was a prize he had won. I had a fixed smile on my face.
“Hey, baby! Isn’t that you?” the Hoff asked, pointing.
I looked over and almost choked. There was a poster that had Hottest Jedi Knight Babe of the Month with my picture on it! The Hoff grabs it and holds it up.
I’m going to kill someone.
That was the end of three days of the Hoff. He brought me back to the studio, gave me his number and drove off in a car that looks a lot like the K.I.T.T. car. He tried to jump a supply truck and ended up crashing. I just walked off.
I did hear from someone that he hung the poster up in his office. Nice. Hope he enjoys the Imperial visit he is going to get later.
Thanks everyone! I have enjoyed competing in this show. Vote for me!
(Thanks to Xavier for giving me the slave pic he made.)