Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Three Days of the Hoff

Three days of the Hoff, huh? I grew up on Knight Rider, baby, I know what the Hoff likes! He thinks himself to be a real ladies man. Stoke that ego! It’s the only way to survive!

The Hoff comes to pick me up. I’m waiting outside the LGS studio for him, tapping my foot. He was late. Soon I see him running up. Time to perform.

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“Hey, baby, I’m the Hoff!”

I smiled, clasped my hands together and start gushing like the girls who run after Anakin screaming: Like, OMG, he is so cute! First words out of my mouth: “I love Knight Rider! It’s my fave show EVER!”

“You rock, cutie! And you got good taste! Come on, you strangely dressed but hot looking woman.”

Now when the Hoff drives, its disturbing. He tells bad jokes and laughs a lot.

“What do termites eat for breakfast? Oakmeal!”

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Hilarious! Not!

Over the next day The Hoff made friends with the Monkeyboy leader that follows me all over LGS studios. He popped out my pack and they hit it off so well I was ignored for hours. I was thankful for that. I needed a breather.

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We went to an award ceremony. He won for Biggest Ego on The Planet. He was thrilled. The Hoff broke down, literally. I wanted to leave. Side note: the judges have obviously never met Vader. The Hoff wouldn’t have won.

“You love me, you really love me!” he cried.

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Finally, he took me to a convention and walked me around like I was a prize he had won. I had a fixed smile on my face.

“Hey, baby! Isn’t that you?” the Hoff asked, pointing.

I looked over and almost choked. There was a poster that had Hottest Jedi Knight Babe of the Month with my picture on it! The Hoff grabs it and holds it up.

“WHOAAAAAAAAAAAA! HAAWWTTTT!”

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I’m going to kill someone.

That was the end of three days of the Hoff. He brought me back to the studio, gave me his number and drove off in a car that looks a lot like the K.I.T.T. car. He tried to jump a supply truck and ended up crashing. I just walked off.

I did hear from someone that he hung the poster up in his office. Nice. Hope he enjoys the Imperial visit he is going to get later.

Thanks everyone! I have enjoyed competing in this show. Vote for me!

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(Thanks to Xavier for giving me the slave pic he made.)

17 comments:

Skywalker said...

Geeeus! Where do you come up with stuff? I swear!

Master Adana said...

Oh, this is great stuff. Who would have thought the Hoff still has his uses. Wonderful job Kriss and those pics are hilarious.

Master Obi-Wan said...

Kriss, you surprise me. I hope this is not all your Master has taught you. *chuckles*

Hoff certainly gets a revival here.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Aw, I was hopin' you two would crawl around on the floor together in a drunken stupor and eatung hoagies.

Godfrey Zebulon said...

I still think Kriss' way was better Jon

This is the crowning jewel in a lovely tiara Kriss. Congrats on making this far and here's hoping you mkae it to the top!*raises glass*

Phobia said...

*cheers* Whoot! I know you'll bring it home for sure!and as for the pics8 spins saber* I'm tagging along with Vader to help destory them. A gal's gotta watch her sister's back! And besides, I enjoy seeing those twits squirm* laughs*

corbiscide said...

Again the Jedi Cabal will spoil the real result here on LGS2.

When will you fools realise the Force is just a psudeo-religion and get back to flagellating yourselves with your lightsabers. Writing about character created by Lucas.

Yes thats right I'm onto you all. Your all just here to make sure that ONLY star wars gimps win.

Yeah I worked this conspiracy out.

corbiscide said...

BTW - Nice pics DJK.

Good to see that you can use them still.

Lin was robbed.

Dark Jedi Kriss said...

Don't hate the player, baby, hate the game.

Quinlan Vos said...

Hey Dark Jedi Kriss, Hoff going to call the Jedi Councle. He wants his clone back, stunt double and personal something or other back. Plus he plans on selling the movie rights to holonet.

? said...

Hey! Ferreting out conspiracies and Seeming to be crazy is my schtick Corbicide!!!

Henchman432 said...

Aw man,I'm boned.

Bathroom Hippo said...


The Hoff can lift a Y-wing out of a swamp with a little luck and some viagra.

Professor Xavier said...

So what's wrong with having that poster on your wall? In fact, I'm thinking of having the school redone with that as the wallpaper.

Dark Jedi Kriss said...

Xavier! LOL! *blush*

Ghost of Congressman Nathan Petrelli said...

corbiscide--way to rock the bitterness man. you lost, get over it.

I read the post this time and both of the contestants have done a great job...

The Hoff...He's my hero...Well after I get past the wretching...

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