Challenge #1

The challenge has been cast. The gauntlet thrown down. Many have been called, few have answered. On the planet Hacknor... On Fire Island D, twelve brave contestants will compete. Who will falter? Who will thrive? Who will be

Ladies, gentlemen, and other things, welcome to your first challenge. First things first, though. The winner of Last Gladiator Standing II will receive a prize grander than the jewel caves of Gemworld. The winner will receive none other than a signed copy of Tales of the Unexpected, one of the greatest anthologies of short stories ever put to paper.


Also, if you look to my left your right you’ll see a breakdown of the two teams. When you get a free moment, get together with your teammates and decide on a name.

You have something else to think about, though and that’s your challenge. If you gaze out to the landing pad, you’ll see rows of dropships parked on the tarmac. The local detachment of the Colonial Marines was gracious enough to loan them to us for “training purposes.” You are to race to one of these craft and strap yourselves in. Oh yeah, you won’t be driving, the marines in flight training will be in the pilot’s seat. The marines in remedial training, that is.

When you’re ready to go, you’ll rocket into the sky towards Space Station Alpha located in geosynchronous orbit around Planet Hacknor. Once at the station, you will then negotiate your way to the launch tubes on deck 12, get to your race pods and launch back into space.

In your pods, you will need to follow the slalom course past the 6 buoys, around the moon, through the asteroid field and then back towards Hacknor for reentry. Aim your craft back home and touch down right here at the landing pad. The winner, of course, will gain immunity for his or her team.

Is everybody ready? On your mark, get set, go!

Welcome contestants

The challenge has been cast. The gauntlet thrown down. Many have been called, few have answered. On the planet Hacknor... On Fire Island D, brave contestants will compete. Who will falter? Who will thrive? Who will be

OK, welcome to Last Gladiator Standing II, we have some familiar faces here but we also have some new contestants who are just as eager as they are unique and I know everyone is as anxious to get this thing going.

Anyway, let me lay down the basics and the ground rules for you.

First, everyone is based on Fire Island D on planet Hacknor (See this really bad map for details), the planet where Intergalactic Gladiator Entertainment is located. There are other islands and atolls and such located on the planet, we’ll explore those as we go. There’s a space port and a Stargate lab available to get you here.

Challenges will be posted either late Sunday or early Monday (Central Standard Earth Time) and contestants have until Friday to post their response. After all contestants post, judging will commence. Last year’s winner Erfia has graciously and gracefully accepted the role of judge for this year. Simon will also be around to judge though I do not believe that he will be available for the whole competition. I may also get celebrity judges along the way; I’m as excited as you are to find out who they could possibly be.

The winner of the challenge will gain immunity for himself and for his team; everyone will then have until that Sunday night to email me your vote for who should be booted off the game on this round. The losingest contestant will be sent packing Sunday night and the next challenge will commence.

Because of the timing and because it’s been proven that interests wane significantly when nothing is going on, I want to keep that tempo going as much as possible. If there are any situations, emergencies, occurrences, vacations, disintegrations, or anything else that would keep you from posting by Friday that week, please let me know. I will accommodate you, but I don’t want to hound people to get posts.

The other thing I would really like to avoid is having contestants drop out after one or two challenges. Yes I know real life is a harsh mistress and I understand if things conflict with your ability to participate, but I only want people here who are in for the long haul. Maybe I shouldn’t take dropouts so personally, but I do because I wear my heart on my sleeve. OK, maybe it’s not my heart, but it is a heart. It was totally cool, I punched a space pirate right through his chest and I pulled out his heart and showed it to him and said “Now beat this.” Yeah, I know it’s not the best action hero line, but it worked.

I know some of you are getting antsy to start; we are working on finalizing this year's roster and setting up the teams. In the meantime, please feel free to mingle and enjoy everything that the island has to offer.

OK, I think that’s it, are there any questions? No? Good. Everyone put your hand in and on the count of three yell “Go Team Intergalactic Gladiator!”

One… Two… Three!

Last Gladiator Standing II

J’onn Sinew Nu called me into his office.

“Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator, as the Senior Vice President of Marketing and Talent Coordination for the Intergalactic Gladiator Entertainment (formerly the Intergalactic Gladiator Federation, thanks a lot you damn space hippies), there’s something that I’ve learned over the years.”

“Really?” I asked. I wonder what it could be. Usually Sinew Nu’s grand ideas involve me getting unfunny Monkeyboy sidekicks or something equally bad, but sometimes (OK, rarely) a good one sneaks in there.

“What was the highest rated reality show that ever aired here on planet Hacknor?”

“Why that would be Last Gladiator Standing, of course,” I answered.

“And what do you do when you make one of the greatest pieces of entertainment in the known multiverse? Where do you go from there?”

“Well, I guess you—”

“You do it again!” he screamed. “Last Gladiator Standing was great, but now Last Gladiator Standing will be even better!”

“It’ll be one better!” I yelled back enthusiastically.

“That’s right, son,” Sinew Nu beamed. “Now get to work on it right away.”

“I already have,” I swung my fist with even more enthusiasm. “I’ve already got contestants lined up and a list of challenges that’ll knock your socks off.”

“Great! I can’t wait to see who’s competing this time around!” Ever see one of those cartoons where dollar signs pop out of a guy’s eye? It's happening with Sinew Nu right now.

To compete in Last Gladiator Standing II, email me at joninterglad@hotmail.com.