Taking care of Business and working overtime.

Ladies and Gents,

DJK won. I am happy for her. It was a well fought game. However, I have some unfinished business.

First up is Monkeyboy Island.



Next.

Now Hudson.



He tried to screw me this time around. I don't like that. I won't kill him, cause that might upset Jon.

So I hired someone to do it for me.




Meet Q Bone.

Dental for all.

M.O.D.O.K. sucks.

Last Gladiator Standing II: The Last Gladiator Standing is

The challenge has been cast. The gauntlet thrown down. Many have been called, few have answered. On the planet Hacknor... On Fire Island D, twelve brave contestants will compete.
Two remain, but there can be only one.
Who will falter? Who will thrive? Who will be

This is it folks, the grand finale. We have ourselves a winner.

And we'll let you know who it is right after these messages.

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We're back. Let's get right to the winner. Our two contestants were Dark Jedi Kriss and Henchman. Two strong contestants who fought to the top of the proverbial mountain. Yes, we have two kings of the mountain here, or rather one king and one queen, and there can only be one. One king or queen of the mountain. And that Mountain is Last Gladiator Standing II.

Let's take a look at the two contestants now, here's the dark Jedi herself, Dark Jedi Kriss.

I watched this machine pop out Monkeyboy after Monkeyboy. The galaxy over run by Monkeyboys? I don’t think so. Maybe there is away to reverse the machine so it sucks them all back in… but how? I went over avoiding the grabby little things pulling on my robes and trying to jump all over me. As I tried to rip open the cover and look inside a heavey armored Monkeyboy slapped my leg with a plastic banana on the shin. “Ouch you little-“ “MUUHGGAA! You will not touch the Popper!” he says. “Step off, Monkey face” I said, shoving him back. “MUUHGGAAGOOA! Wench! I’ll beat your legs off with the Nanner of Doom!” he said hitting me again, this time in the knee. The what of what? “I’m going to shove your Nanner of Doom up your…” BAM! He clocked me in the gut with it. Ok, that was it! I whipped out my lightsaber. “You ever seen a Purple People Eater, Monkeyface?” I ignited the blade. The Monkeyboy guard wet his pants. “MUUUGGGGWWAWAWAGHHAAAOOOOOOO! Marry me!” he shouted and grabbed my leg. “Get off me!” “MUUHGGAAGOOALOOOOOLLAAAA- LLLAAAA!” He tried to crawl up my side. I tried to swat him off. He held on like Whomp Rat with cheese. He got up to my chest and looked down. “GOOOOLA-LALA-LAL-MUMAAA!” Dirty little pervert! I shoved him off me and he ran back, clutching my leg, swinging his plastic nanner with one hand. “MUGGLALALA QUEEM OF DA POPPER!” Why me I ask? Why me? I swing back and kicked him and he went flying. He came right back. Right on to the blade of Purple People Eater. “MUOOGLAA… “ “Sorry fuzz ball,” I muttered. “I anit Queem of no Monkeyboy’s popper!” I went to transporter and somehow managed to get it to go from pop to suck. And just sounds bad all around. Joan Rivers greets me at the at the end red carpet, microphone in hand. Joan smiles, her makeup so thick it looked like it would crack. “Oh! Look who we have here! The only female remaining in this contest! DJK! And look at what she has on! It’s short, it’s skimpy, and it’s TOTALLY HOT! How does it feel to make this far?” she gabs poking a microphone in my face. I cleared my throat and opened my mouth. Joan cuts me off. “Superb! Do tell us! Are the men on the show nice to you? Do they give you a hard time?” “Well, they-” “Wonderful! You are Jedi Knight! How do you get away with competing in LGS?” “The Jedi Counsel doesn’t min-” I tried to say. “Splendid! You have such a pretty lightsaber! And it matches! Do you play with it a lot?” she asks. “I don’t pla-” I started. “Magnificent! We wish you the best of luck! Now smile at the camera!” Joan steps back and a camera flashes in my face. Finally, he took me to a convention and walked me around like I was a prize he had won. I had a fixed smile on my face. “Hey, baby! Isn’t that you?” the Hoff asked, pointing. I looked over and almost choked. There was a poster that had Hottest Jedi Knight Babe of the Month with my picture on it! The Hoff grabs it and holds it up. “WHOAAAAAAAAAAAA! HAAWWTTTT!” I’m going to kill someone. That was the end of three days of the Hoff. He brought me back to the studio, gave me his number and drove off in a car that looks a lot like the K.I.T.T. car. He tried to jump a supply truck and ended up crashing. I just walked off.

Dark Jedi Kriss everyone, give her a hand. We'll be right back after these messages.

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We're back everyone. You know a hero won't stand a chance when he goes up against a henchman who can lift/press fifty tons, run 245 MPH, and summon a Dark Beast. I'm talking about Henchamn, of course people. Let's take a look.

Hudson: Because it’s training! This is how you become a motivated, dedicated, high speed low drag, super frosty, gung ho deadly killer part of the greatest team that this galaxy has ever laid its eyes on. Professor X: The X-Men? Henchman: Advanced Idea Mechanics? Gyrobo: The Traveling Wilburys? Some other stuff was spewing out Hudson mouth, but by time time I was lost. I start a slow walk to the course. "O' no you don't. You get back here maggot." Hudson yells. What, the imbecile did not call me a maggot. I wake up out of my daydream and make a bee line for Hudson's throat. I am going to tear the nitwit a new cornhole. Jon gives me a look. Fine. *Adds to list* 1. Monkeyboy Island 2. Hudson I am going to busy after this game. "You're not so cool now, huh? I got a different course for you." He spits out. I ask why. "Because, I am still paying off my credit card bill." He cries and then he shows me his "map". Not bad. I spend a day and a half in the shower. Hhmmm....Shower. While washing DJ Kriss's body. (I felt dirty, haw haw.) I found this spot. It only took me two hands.(I wish I had a map through.) Much to my chagrin. I had to get out of the shower. (What do chicks do now...) Lotion.( Sweet) It's now day three and I am a little bored. I try to think what I should do...(Shower, lotion or play with fun bags.) While those things are great to do. I feel, I am wasting time. Then it hits me. Dress up. I dress up and head out. Time to see what Hacknor has to offer. I put on this number and get free drinks and a dinner. I took the guy's number and threw it in the trash.Haw haw. This outfit get me a very nice watch. However, his wife might be mad. He tore it off of her arm to give it to me. Wow, DJK might a little P.O.ed after this. Some Dude makes me a offer, 50 grand to be his "Batgirl". I take his money and leave him on the street. I head back to my room. I played with DKJ's light saber. I, by mistake wreck my room. I love this thing. On my last night. I set up a photo shoot. For some of my fans. I fall out and look at my surrounding. I find out two things. 1. It's in color. 2. It's nice and warm. I scan and see it's Miami in the 80's. Well the chicks are hot. I contact M.O.D.O.K. "Hey Moddy, I am going to have some fun around here for awhile. Keep the "Door" open for a bit ok?" I ask of him. He replies. "No." "What?" I asked, I was blown away. He goes and a tear about, he is the face of A.I.M. No one else should be top dog but him. He destroys the "Door." I'm stuck here. My clothes are almost gone. I am going to Kill M.O.D.O.K., when I get back. Now I just have to figure how to get back. Magdalena's ghost comes to me and tells me the only thing that can get me back home is a spoon. I grab one from a nearby dinner and nothing. I wait...and wait..Nothing. Spoon, why did I need a spoon? Who thinks a spoon will help me. "SPOON" I scream. The Tick comes running out of nowhere and breaks a hole in the timesteam. Sending my body to return to Hacknor. and Just in time.

Henchman432, everyone.

I know everyone's itching to find out the winner, so I'm going to give it to you.

Right after I thank the judges.

Summer Dawn, you make a great judge. Thanks for stopping by.


And Skywalker, thanks dog, you tha bomb.


And especially Erifia Apoc. Thanks for being the greatest LGS2 judge ever.

And now the moment everyone has been waiting for.


The winner of Last Gladiator Standing II and a signed copy of Stories of the Unexpected is



None other than...



The person who you will see named below...


Who is...


none...


other...


than...

Dark Jedi Kriss!

Congrats DJK, you are the Last Gladiator Standing.

Challenge #11, Rock The Vote

The challenge has been cast. The gauntlet thrown down. Many have been called, few have answered. On the planet Hacknor... On Fire Island D, twelve brave contestants will compete.
Two remain, but there can be only one.
Who will falter? Who will thrive? Who will be

The entries are in, the challenges have been met, two remain but only one can be Last Gladiator Standing.

All contestants, judges, fans, and viewers of this show are invited to email me at joninterglad@hotmail.com with your vote. The winner will be announced Sunday night.

Good luck to both Henchman and Dark Jedi Kriss.

Vote today! Operators are standing by.

Time trippin'

Ladies and Gents,

For the final throw down. Dark Jedi Kriss picked my Challenge.

Joy.


" You will go on a pilgrimage to the past."


That means time travel. ( I hate time travel, I always come back with a rash.)


"There you will make a life-changing decision you must stick to for the rest of your life. Must be major, changing your hair color won’t work.Must be profound."


Gee, like what? I going to stop being a supervillain henchman? I think not. (Even the heroes don't act like heroes anymore. I'm looking at you, Iron Man.)


"In this pilgrimage there must be:a door you go through three times."


(A door and going through three times...? WTF? you have to be kidding me.)


"A ghost (not Petrelil, don’t even try it)"


(I wouldn't even dare to try and talk to Petrelil, he's a perv.)


"A spoon."

(Huh?)



"And you must lose one article of clothing for every hour you are in the past.I know what you are thinking. What the polly-wog-a-ding-dong was she thinking?I’m was thinking Hench will be in his underpants when he comes back.I’m counting on it.Good luck, honey bee."


(Great. So she is a prev also. Was there anyone in this contest at isn't. Ok, yes I am a perv too. There are you happy.)


I check the grounds of the LGS compound and there is no time travel gear here. (Shocker.) I call the one person who has always helped me out in a jam.



M.O.D.O.K.

He has always been at my side. When I needed anything, Bam it was there. Even though with LGS I, Amazing Mutant Race 3 and LGS II, I have become the face of A.I.M. He has gotten jealous. He's my bud.

Moddy boom tubes, himself and something called a "Time Travel Door". (Wow, that's weird.)

I step in and end up in to...Feudal Japan.



To the times of Shogan's and Warlords. (Sweet, I'm going to run this land.)

I head to the top of the hill and see nothing great. It's a small village. The next town is miles away and I don't speak the language. (Frag) This sucks, I walk around of a bit and feel something strange. My gloves disappears. (Omg, she wasn't joking.) I see the next "Time Door". I make a sprint for it. I jump in and...


End up in the 1930's. Well, this is a little better. People here know, I am not so freak speaking gibberish.

"Hey Mister, where are ya' pants." A half pint yells out.

Great, I jog to the nearest men's store and steal a pair of pants. Now the fuzz is after me. The moment I landed here. I just wanted to hang at a speak easy and pick a dame. Before I can plan on doing anything in this timeline. The "Door" appears.

I fall out and look at my surrounding. I find out two things.

1. It's in color.

2. It's nice and warm. I scan and see it's Miami in the 80's.



Well the chicks are hot.

I contact M.O.D.O.K.

"Hey Moddy, I am going to have some fun around here for awhile. Keep the "Door" open for a bit ok?" I ask of him.

He replies. "No."

"What?" I asked, I was blown away.

He goes and a tear about, he is the face of A.I.M. No one else should be top dog but him. He destroys the "Door."

I'm stuck here. My clothes are almost gone. I am going to Kill M.O.D.O.K., when I get back. Now I just have to figure how to get back.

Magdalena's ghost comes to me and tells me the only thing that can get me back home is a spoon.

I grab one from a nearby dinner and nothing. I wait...and wait..Nothing. Spoon, why did I need a spoon? Who thinks a spoon will help me.

"SPOON" I scream.



The Tick comes running out of nowhere and breaks a hole in the timesteam. Sending my body to return to Hacknor. and Just in time.

My betrayal by M.O.D.O.K. will make me change my tag line.

Denatl for All.

M.O.D.O.K. sucks.

Three Days of the Hoff

Three days of the Hoff, huh? I grew up on Knight Rider, baby, I know what the Hoff likes! He thinks himself to be a real ladies man. Stoke that ego! It’s the only way to survive!

The Hoff comes to pick me up. I’m waiting outside the LGS studio for him, tapping my foot. He was late. Soon I see him running up. Time to perform.



“Hey, baby, I’m the Hoff!”

I smiled, clasped my hands together and start gushing like the girls who run after Anakin screaming: Like, OMG, he is so cute! First words out of my mouth: “I love Knight Rider! It’s my fave show EVER!”

“You rock, cutie! And you got good taste! Come on, you strangely dressed but hot looking woman.”

Now when the Hoff drives, its disturbing. He tells bad jokes and laughs a lot.

“What do termites eat for breakfast? Oakmeal!”



Hilarious! Not!

Over the next day The Hoff made friends with the Monkeyboy leader that follows me all over LGS studios. He popped out my pack and they hit it off so well I was ignored for hours. I was thankful for that. I needed a breather.



We went to an award ceremony. He won for Biggest Ego on The Planet. He was thrilled. The Hoff broke down, literally. I wanted to leave. Side note: the judges have obviously never met Vader. The Hoff wouldn’t have won.

“You love me, you really love me!” he cried.



Finally, he took me to a convention and walked me around like I was a prize he had won. I had a fixed smile on my face.

“Hey, baby! Isn’t that you?” the Hoff asked, pointing.

I looked over and almost choked. There was a poster that had Hottest Jedi Knight Babe of the Month with my picture on it! The Hoff grabs it and holds it up.

“WHOAAAAAAAAAAAA! HAAWWTTTT!”



I’m going to kill someone.

That was the end of three days of the Hoff. He brought me back to the studio, gave me his number and drove off in a car that looks a lot like the K.I.T.T. car. He tried to jump a supply truck and ended up crashing. I just walked off.

I did hear from someone that he hung the poster up in his office. Nice. Hope he enjoys the Imperial visit he is going to get later.

Thanks everyone! I have enjoyed competing in this show. Vote for me!



(Thanks to Xavier for giving me the slave pic he made.)

Hench’s Challenge

Your challenge is this:

You will go on a pilgrimage to the past.

There you will make a life-changing decision you must stick to for the rest of your life. Must be major, changing your hair color won’t work. Must be profound.

In this pilgrimage there must be:

a door you go through three times,

a ghost (not Petrelil, don’t even try it),

a spoon,

and you must lose one article of clothing for every hour you are in the past.

I know what you are thinking. What the polly-wog-a-ding-dong was she thinking? I’m was thinking Hench will be in his underpants when he comes back.

I’m counting on it.

Good luck, honey bee.

Hat pick

Ladies and Gents,

For the final challenge. Dark Jedi Kriss and I, have to pick each other quests. DJK picks and hide the piece of paper.

Not good.

I feel nervous, I need all the luck I can get.

I shove my hand in.

I pick out a piece and read.

You must live three days...Of the Hoff.

You will live a total of three different days of Mr. David Hasseloff.



Ha.

Dental for all.

Dr.Polaris rules.